OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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