I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
