Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
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She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says