well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
