Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
