apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
