I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize