Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my being single is dangerous.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
