I just cut my nipple shaving
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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