Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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