So drunk its hurt
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
last night I used snow as a chaser
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