at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
