why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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