he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
