it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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