no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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