Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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