my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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