Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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