I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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