Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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