All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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