I think I am morally bankrupt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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