i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
