I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
