In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i've created a new STD.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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