u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
