Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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