Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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