***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
