Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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