i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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