We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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