Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
