I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
