I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
