My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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