did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
