i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize