Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
