I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Panties = found
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize