4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
sarcasm needs its own font
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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