Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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