guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
