so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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