He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Less talking, more tequila
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
