If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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