Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
