She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
