we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
accomplished twins. life is a go
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
