Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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