the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
