dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
