Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
