it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
