Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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