Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
