The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
