So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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