I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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