i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
