When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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