My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
