I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
