Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
