I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
