Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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